Love and Beyond !

What makes us fall in love with another person? Do we do so for fulfilling our desire or is it love for the other.

Let's go back to a basic fact. What is love? No point in looking up a dictionary, ask yourselves whether you love your partner or spouse for yourself or for them.

Is your love over powering to the extent that you are prepared to overlook your own needs prior to that of your partner? If so, then you are on the right track or else you need to assess yourself.

I would like to break-up love into three segments:
1. Physical
2. Spiritual
3. Emotional

Physical attraction is the first point of any relationship. It is the catalyst which induces the desire to culminate and bind a relationship. However the greatest drawback here is that the longevity of such an attraction comes with a rather rapid expiry period. In certain cases a few months and the more fortunate enjoy it for a few years. Many relationships cease to exist at this point and each tend to move on either amicably or bitterly.

Spiritual bonding is a factor most couples tend to disregard, either it is ritualistically performed or is non-existent. God should be the center point of any relationship. Merging of our spiritual being with a spouse could be the cornerstone of a successful relationship.

Emotional rapport is nothing but being sensitive to each other's feelings. Respect each other's space and allow each to have some 'Me' time. Trust me it does wonders for the relationship.

Now that we have examined certain aspects of love, let's get to the most important point which generally make or break a relationship.

How much do you love your partner? Do you put self before or after? Let me explain further.

We all love ourselves without any doubt, there is no person in existence who can claim that they hate themselves. Now that we have clarity on that, let us quickly move to the second part, do we love our partner less, on par or more than ourselves?

Truthfully ask yourself this question. Because if you love less, then your relationship is on shaky ground and may or may not withstand the test of time.

Loving on par is a better situation but the possibilities of it slipping a shade or two lower as time elapses is a strong possibility.

However loving more is a unique state, and ensures the relationship blooms and thrives irrespective of time or situations.

Of course some may argue that this could also lose its sheen over the years and a relationship ends up being ritualistic and pedestrian. I don't dispute this argument, but if we are focused on loving our partner more than ourselves, then no challenge or obstacles will be big enough to overcome.

This aspect of love fascinated me for a long time and I even wrote a novel 'Love without Boundaries' about two people deeply in love and the challenges they faced.

Ayesha and Vihaan the two protagonists display a love only reserved for a chosen few. Try to fall into that category as there is nothing more satisfying than a successful relationship.

I strongly advice young budding lovers to read this book, as it moots a theory which if applied, could change your lives forever.

Book Review - Sensual Attractions by A.J. Karan

Book Review - Sensual Attractions by A.J. Karan

Fearless Living !

We are slowly and steadily heading towards a period which will be dominated by evil forces. To achieve their sinister goals they will unleash fear in the minds of everyone with the sole purpose of ensuring that none will dare to challenge their motives. Living a life without fear could be something of the past.

Corruption in high places is the nemesis for all of us. Their overwhelming authority and access to muscle power can be unnerving for the peace loving and generally docile individual who rather bow in obeisance, than dare to challenge a group which operates in a clandestine manner.

Social media regularly displays videos of various crimes being committed in different parts of the country. Mind you, these videos are uploaded by citizens and exhibit violence against women, the elderly, police atrocities and other heart-wrenching incidents.

What is of upmost concern is the fearlessness exhibited by the perpetrators in broad daylight, without fear of reprisal from the not so long arm of the law.

Where do you think such criminals derive their courage from? No prizes for guessing, it's obvious for all to see. Political clout blesses them with nerves of steel and with influential persons watching their back, they feel a sense of invincibility.

Let's rewind to the pre-independence era and scrutinize the mindset of our freedom fighters. They possessed a single minded purpose and collectively fought selflessly and relentlessly to achieve a purpose for subsequent generations to live with freedom and dignity.

If at that moment, there was a fast forward mechanism for them to look into the future, it would have immensely grieved those valiant fighters of what future generations would do to their legacy. I consider it a mutilation of our heritage and culture. In harsher words, it is nothing but a gang rape of the legacy we inherited from our ancestors.

Another disheartening factor to be considered is that this mass mutilation and erosion of basic human values is the handiwork of a very minuscule percentage of people. It is their muscle power which invokes fear in the minds of the vast peace loving majority.

I declare this majority, myself included, to be a spineless, gutless species which needs to be plunged into a bottomless pit of doom, for allowing this hooliganism to pervade and corrupt society.

Are my words harsh? Well so be it, because if our ancestors had the same mindset of what we possess today, we would still be under British rule.

Wake up citizens of India and let's fight our second independence movement with the enemy living amongst us or else the fractured legacy we leave behind will spell doomsday for future generations.

I personally prefer fearless living and am willing to sacrifice my life to achieve this goal. How many of you are ready to do likewise? The time for procrastination is over, the time for discussions, debates and blogs is definitely over. In unsympathetic words, get off your lethargic behinds and move ahead.

Let’s emulate our forefathers who fought tooth and nail to allow us a life of dignity and freedom, we have no right to disrespect that legacy.

Was Jallikattu Hijacked?

The recent events of widespread violence in Chennai and others parts of Tamil Nadu has left a bad taste in the mouth of numerous law-abiding citizens. This is definitely not part of our rich Tamil heritage and culture. We were always known to be a peace loving state with undisputed humanitarian qualities. In one stroke all the good work done in the past few days was destroyed.

Let me rewind to the past few days, I had been closely watching the protest against the Jallikattu ban engineered by vast groups of youngsters. Initially I thought it would wear off in a day or so, but surprisingly that didn't happen. On the contrary it gathered momentum evoking reactions from not only the state government, but also the government of India.

This combined show of unity shook the corridors of power, so much so that we had some of our leaders dashing off to the capital pleading for support and solutions.

I wonder what the situation would have been if our erstwhile leader, whom we lost a few months ago, had been around. I seriously suspect that the scenarios would have been different.

Right now I reserve my comments about Jallikattu, as I am no expert in these matters. However what riled me were the statements vociferously aired about this sport being our culture and heritage and no force on earth should deprive us of this. My question to the youth is whether it is only Jallikattu that is so important an issue to bring you out onto the streets? What about other burning issues plaguing our society, aren’t those too against our Tamil culture and heritage. Why are you mute spectators to those goings -on?

It will be a proud day for every Indian citizen when we see an uprising against corrupt politicians, bureaucrats and other government officials. We see zero entry of criminals in politics, eradication of all kinds of mafia, protection of our women, balancing of wealth, welfare schemes which actually reach and benefit a wide segment of society.

Coming back to the events of 23^rd January, based on TV visuals and newspaper reports, I can easily conclude that the vast majority of genuine protesters were not responsible for the recent carnage. So who were these people branded as anti-social elements? Repeatedly they venture out fearlessly, unmindful of the repercussions of their actions. In an era of advanced technology, identifying these elements should be a straightforward exercise. What matters now is the determination of the custodians of the laws, who should take it upon themselves to do the needful.

It is this very aspect that I have spoken about- accountability. The need of the hour is ensuring that all government agencies are held accountable for their actions.

I would be only too delighted if my wishes come true, and we see the evolving of a movement to preserve our society and allow all to live with dignity and fearlessness.

A second independence movement if I dare to say, and this time the enemy is within us, a more daunting task I am afraid, but not impossible to overcome.

The youth of today create a future for the youth of tomorrow. A subtle and meaningful tag line to keep our hopes alive.